piledrivefinger's "Quirky Things I Want To Do"

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1. 1. To snuggle up in bed next to someone with blonde fluffy hair and pillow lips and fall asleep Drag me to re-order

2. 2. Ride on the back of a motorcycle going at a moderate speed while wearing a hot pink helmet and a prom dress Drag me to re-order

3. 3. Stick my hands in a vat of vaseline and leave them there for a few days Drag me to re-order

4. 4. Find the market for erotica for children Drag me to re-order

5. 5. Create a "Happy the Syringe" comic book Drag me to re-order

6. 6. Create a brochure (complete with statistics and pie charts) on the benefits of making sweet love to me Drag me to re-order

7. 7. Wear beautiful turquoise eyeshadow so perfect and yummy looking that I will want to suck on my eyelids like hard candies Drag me to re-order

8. 8. Become a famous singer and have drunk people sing my songs Drag me to re-order

9. 9. Work a lemonade stand in the Pizza Hut parking lot while wearing a bikini Drag me to re-order

10. 10. Have an art show or make a zine about ex-boyfriends, titled "Where Are They Now?" Drag me to re-order

11. 11. Run through a random person's sprinkler Drag me to re-order

12. 12. Be more like Pippi Longstocking Drag me to re-order

13. 13. Be hugged while wearing a sweater Drag me to re-order

14. 14. Be the Dutch lady who was in my poetry class Drag me to re-order

15. 15. Build a snow goon army a la "Calvin and Hobbes" Drag me to re-order

16. 16. Have two ponytails that flap simultaneously and make me fly away Drag me to re-order

17. 17. Own bubblemaking shoes that spurted bubbles out whenever i walked Drag me to re-order

18. 18. Grow an afro so big I could lose car keys in it Drag me to re-order

19. 19. Swim in a shower with a sliding glass door, like they do on "Tom & Jerry" Drag me to re-order

20. 20. Go grocery shopping in a French Maid outfit Drag me to re-order

21. 21. Eat an electric blue cake Drag me to re-order

22. 22. Wear a wide variety of beautiful flip-flops from Old Navy Drag me to re-order

23. 23. Use a "Hello Kitty" vibrator Drag me to re-order

24. 24. Have a butler named "Blogsworth" or "Andrew" Drag me to re-order

25. 25. Wear shiny red rain boots and fun garters Drag me to re-order

26. 26. Buy Scratch 'N' Sniff stickers that are bizarre, like "Boot" and "Fried Chicken" Drag me to re-order

27. 27. Wear a pair of silver glitter 80s shades, a la the "Dressing Up" scene in "Barbie and the Rockers" Drag me to re-order

28. 28. Own a coffee table in the shape of a naked lady Drag me to re-order

29. 29. Hold My Little Ponies and rub their smooth little noses Drag me to re-order

30. 30. Have a super bowl of milk and a raft made of an Oreo cookie Drag me to re-order

31. 31. Make a career out of naming Crayola colors Drag me to re-order

32. 32. Become queen of Planet Submission Drag me to re-order

33. 33. Live my life like Madonna's "Express Yourself" video Drag me to re-order

34. 34. 33. Be the bottle in Spin-The-Bottle Drag me to re-order

35. 35. 34. Ride in a cat-shaped rocket Drag me to re-order

36. 36. Have a conversation with a friendly ghost and not be scared Drag me to re-order

37. 37. Barbeque under a waterfall Drag me to re-order

38. 38. have a mad tea party Drag me to re-order

39. 39. Get a quirky male sidekick with a heart of gold who makes wisecracks all day Drag me to re-order

40. 40. Bet on everything, and gamble away extreme amounts of money I don’t have with I.O.U.s Drag me to re-order

41. 41. Harvest pretty fairies like in Labyrinth Drag me to re-order

42. 42. Be a mermaid when I grow up Drag me to re-order

43. 43. Wear sexy lingerie underneath unassuming, dull clothing Drag me to re-order

44. 44. Build more forts Drag me to re-order

45. 45. Organize and go on drunken camping trips Drag me to re-order

46. 46. Create shitty origami, take pictures and create a book, complete with instructions, called “How To Make Shitty Origami” Drag me to re-order

47. 47. Have a time machine and transmogrifier Drag me to re-order

48. 48. To wear the ball gown that Jennifer Connelly wore in "Labyrinth" and be felt up Drag me to re-order

49. 49. To be reincarnated as Ann Wilson's voice Drag me to re-order

50. 50. To make $40K a year and have sex with baby-faced male escorts on my lunch break Drag me to re-order

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