abbeynormal's "Goals that make me LAUGH"

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1. 51. be the luckiest man alive so that i am not stabbed 178 times by magical fighting foo-foo bunnies or hideous miniature giant space monsters that can surely leap dramatically out from under my mattress to find refuge from the scary dimension they came from Drag me to re-order

2. 52. get really frikken rich off internet scams so i can pay some mexican to do all this for me Drag me to re-order

3. 53. Set up a communications network in Hell Drag me to re-order

4. 54. fondle a train conductor Drag me to re-order

5. 55. cut an eskimo in half to get to the noughat center Drag me to re-order

6. 56. become a zombie-pirate-vampire-ninja-robot-werewolf-secret agent-jedi-assassin-gangsta with telekinesis and my own talk show co-starring Seth Green Drag me to re-order

7. 57. beat a mouse to death with licorice Drag me to re-order

8. 58. go to Las Vegas and become a minister of a wedding chapel dressed up like a flying Elvis and marry drunk people with a pink flamingo on a leash by my side Drag me to re-order

9. 59. marry in a small church by the sea with a dead flamingo pink shantung dress Drag me to re-order

10. 60. fax cheese Drag me to re-order

11. 61. fax an orgasm Drag me to re-order

12. 62. Slap someone with a fish Drag me to re-order

13. 63. see a forklift lift a crate of forks...it would be so damn literal for me...You're using that machine for its exact purpose, that machine has been misunderstood for years! Drag me to re-order

14. 64. grow a mustache and wax the ends, so I can skewer people Drag me to re-order

15. 65. put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room Drag me to re-order

16. 66. find the meaning to life and keep it to myself Drag me to re-order

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