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Rainbowshappen's "Quirkiest goals on 43T"

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Originated by Cranberrygoddess. I like many of these too, so I’m adopting my own version here…these are the ones that appeal most to my warped sense of humor. (But no small furry animals, zombies or nuns were actually harmed during the making of this list. Really.)

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1.

I want to dress up like a pirate, hijack a galleon, and board cruise ships without permission. I won't steal anything -- just make the passengers drink rum and wake up wondering if the night before really happened...

2.

pull a prank involving 100 lawn gnomes

3.

skip to class in the morning while the world explodes around me in a plethora of beautiful sonic explosions caused by the collision of multiple strings of space-time after a comet strikes the pope

4.

walk 500 miles, and walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked 1000 miles.

5.

I want to be someone or see someone taking a break from eating rolls to roll a joint while they roll while drinking a rolling rock while listening to rock and roll in a rolls thats rolling through some rolling hills

6.

marry the guy that invented ROLL-UPS so he can make me roll-ups n our house will be made out of ROLL-UPs

7.

jingle my toes as I slowly jog down the boardwalk, bowling over the penniless beggar monkeys whose wretched existence reminds me of my own tortured past as a sidewalk musician in Kalamazoo, where I played trumpet and harmonica simultaneously

8.

become so jaded and bitter that I drop out of society to live in the wilderness in a timber hut while tending to abstract mathematical theorems, the "MANIFESTO" and have conversations with the ghosts of dead 80's hair metal acts.

9.

beat someone to death with a can of peas

10.

beat a mouse to death with licorice

11.

fight for civil lefts

12.

get drunk in an old irish pub and a scotish pub to see which gets me more drunk

13.

cause the apocalypse by accident; preferably one involving some sort of unique confectionary concoction and a menagerie of animals

14.

cause a zombie apocalypse

15.

find someone foreign to eat with food

16.

Appear in an Editorial cartoon using the President as a wooden dummy puppet while the President uses a judge as a puppet himself

17.

write a song about keyboards, clowns, and murderous presidents with telepathic sock puppets

18.

spontaneously combust

19.

be less spontaneous

20.

concoct a plan of world domination

21.

Learn to tie a maraschino cherry stem with my tongue

22.

Be a Jedi Master

23.

Have an underground lair

24.

go to Las Vegas and become a minister of a wedding chapel dressed up like a flying Elvis and marry drunk people with a pink flamingo on a leash by my side

25.

be promoted to my level of incompetence where I will choke the remaining morale out of my workplace and brown nose my gold plated overlord bosses at every chance I can get all while making my minions toil away for a pittance in their cubicle salt mines.

26.

have my own minions, underlings, lackies, toadies, yes-men, or zombies

27.

ride an ostrich

28.

visit every state except Iowa

29.

pull a prank involving a kiddie pool full of pudding

30.

purchase guam

31.

Go on a monopoly board pub crawl

32.

be under the sea in an octopus' garden

33.

skydive in my underwear

34.

Shrink Texas.

35.

annoy an albatross

36.

barbecue a dinosaur

37.

resurrect dinosaurs into the modern era so I can satisfy my curiosity about who would win between dinosaurs and tanks in a battle on the field of honor.

38.

fax cheese

39.

train a monkey to run around in circles in exchange for cheese, and use it to power a cheese-making machine

40.

Own a purple monkey

41.

fight an evil killer robot ninja monkey and his legion of super mutant zombie monkeys, with the help of my friend, future eddee and his trusty sidekick, nacho the super duper donkey

42.

sneeze the alphabet

43.

Slap someone with a fish

44.

inscribe a secret tablet, guide to the ancient stone temple, with the words "when you approach the ancient stone temple you must be attractive and scantily clad"

45.

open a "new army" across the street from an Old Navy Store and give the Old Navy manager a dirty look every morning

46.

Invent a time machine, go back and invent said time machine yesterday so I have time machine right now

47.

swim in a bathtub of noodles

48.

Teach my youngest dog to stop scaring other dog owners with her signature scream!

49.

teach linux the cat to act like a cat, not a shark

50.

start a non-profit organization to help people like me with an addiction to juicy juice juice boxes

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This is Rainbowshappen's list. Only Rainbowshappen can edit it. You can make your own version of this list.

Created by Rainbowshappen on Jan 28, 2007.

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