Lindsay's "Worst Songs I've Ever Heard"

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My coworker Michelle and I disagree about music in a big way. We listen to one of those trendy ‘We Play Everything’ stations that are named after blue collared men. Ours is called Doug. She often asks me if I like whichever song comes on, which I almost never do.

Here is a list of the songs that I hear regularly on this station that are the worst. Maybe not in terms of overall aesthetics – I’m sure I’d find most Lil Jon or whatever songs more grating – but the worst in terms of casting the widest, most shallow net of banality. Songs that are just mind bogglingly unnecessary. Did anyone ever like these songs? Why are they still played today?

In the interests of keeping the list a finite length, I am only including one song per horrible unnecessary artist. Sorry, Jimmy Buffett, my fingers hate typing more than they hate you. Also, I will be updating this list as the mood strikes, and keeping it at less than 100% completeness, because the battle against the truly awful is never over.

  1. 1.
    ?
    Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffett (song)
    by Jimmy Buffett

    Drag me to re-order


  2. 2.
    ?
    Honky Tonk Badonkadonk - Trace Adkins (single)
    by Trace Adkins

    Drag me to re-order


  3. 3.
    ?
    Benny and the Jets - Elton John (song)
    by Elton John

    Drag me to re-order


  4. 4.
    ?
    Keep Your Hands to Yourself - The Georgia Satellites (single)
    by The Georgia Satellites

    Drag me to re-order


  5. 5.
    ?
    We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel (single)
    by Billy Joel

    Drag me to re-order


  6. 6.
    ?
    Kokomo - The Beach Boys (single)
    by The Beach Boys

    Drag me to re-order


  7. 7.
    ?
    The Pina Colada Song - Rupert Holmes (single)
    by Rupert Holmes

    Drag me to re-order


  8. 8.
    ?
    You're the Inspiration - Chicago (single)
    by Chicago

    Drag me to re-order


  9. 9.
    ?
    That's the Way I Like It - KC and the Sunshine Band (single)
    by KC and the Sunshine Band

    Drag me to re-order


  10. 10.
    ?

  11. 11.
    ?
    Young Turks - Rod Stewart (single)
    by Rod Stewart

    Drag me to re-order


  12. 12.
    ?
    Have You Ever Seen the Rain - Creedence Clearwater Revival (song)
    by Creedence Clearwater Revival

    Drag me to re-order


  13. 13.
    ?
    Pink Cadillac - Bruce Springsteen (song)
    by Bruce Springsteen

    Drag me to re-order


  14. 14.
    ?
    The Heart of Rock n Roll - Huey Lewis and the News (single)
    by Huey Lewis and the News

    Drag me to re-order


  15. 15.
    ?
    Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar (single)
    by Pat Benatar

    Drag me to re-order


  16. 16.
    ?
    Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd (song)
    by Lynyrd Skynyrd

    Drag me to re-order


This is Lindsay's list. Only Lindsay can edit it. You can make your own version of this list.
Created by Lindsay on Aug 03, 2007.
 

Comments

so far so good — 1 year ago

I do like “We didn’t start the fire”, but the rest of the songs are bad. In fact, most of them are lousy enough to be on this list. I’m with you on this one, lindsay.


Untitled — 1 year ago

Well, Bennie and the Jets and Freebird are excellent…


Surely there's more than 16 bad songs out there. — 1 year ago

...but it’s a great start. Most of these I find very annoying. I only disagree with two choices: Benny and the Jets is an all time classic, and That’s the Way I Like It, who knows why, probably because it reminds me of my childhood. I was king of the dance floor at age 12.


Greg
Columbus

I think I'm on Michelle's side — 2 years ago

I like more of these than I hate. I’m with you on “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” and “You’re the Inspiration” (Chicago at its treacliest).

And you’re verging on heresy casting aspersions at C.C.R. and “Freebird”