Lindsay's "Worst Songs I've Ever Heard"

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My coworker Michelle and I disagree about music in a big way. We listen to one of those trendy ‘We Play Everything’ stations that are named after blue collared men. Ours is called Doug. She often asks me if I like whichever song comes on, which I almost never do.

Here is a list of the songs that I hear regularly on this station that are the worst. Maybe not in terms of overall aesthetics – I’m sure I’d find most Lil Jon or whatever songs more grating – but the worst in terms of casting the widest, most shallow net of banality. Songs that are just mind bogglingly unnecessary. Did anyone ever like these songs? Why are they still played today?

In the interests of keeping the list a finite length, I am only including one song per horrible unnecessary artist. Sorry, Jimmy Buffett, my fingers hate typing more than they hate you. Also, I will be updating this list as the mood strikes, and keeping it at less than 100% completeness, because the battle against the truly awful is never over.

  1. 1.
    ?
    Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffett (song)
    by Jimmy Buffett
  2. 2.
    ?
    Honky Tonk Badonkadonk - Trace Adkins (single)
    by Trace Adkins
  3. 3.
    ?
    Benny and the Jets - Elton John (song)
    by Elton John
  4. 4.
    ?
    Keep Your Hands to Yourself - The Georgia Satellites (single)
    by The Georgia Satellites
  5. 5.
    ?
    We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel (single)
    by Billy Joel
  6. 6.
    ?
    Kokomo - The Beach Boys (single)
    by The Beach Boys
  7. 7.
    ?
    The Pina Colada Song - Rupert Holmes (single)
    by Rupert Holmes
  8. 8.
    ?
    You're the Inspiration - Chicago (single)
    by Chicago
  9. 9.
    ?
    That's the Way I Like It - KC and the Sunshine Band (single)
    by KC and the Sunshine Band
  10. 10.
    ?
  11. 11.
    ?
    Young Turks - Rod Stewart (single)
    by Rod Stewart
  12. 12.
    ?
    Have You Ever Seen the Rain - Creedence Clearwater Revival (song)
    by Creedence Clearwater Revival
  13. 13.
    ?
    Pink Cadillac - Bruce Springsteen (song)
    by Bruce Springsteen
  14. 14.
    ?
    The Heart of Rock n Roll - Huey Lewis and the News (single)
    by Huey Lewis and the News
  15. 15.
    ?
    Hit Me With Your Best Shot
    by Pat Benatar
  16. 16.
    ?
    Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd (song)
    by Lynyrd Skynyrd
This is Lindsay's list. Only Lindsay can edit it. You can make your own version of this list.
Created by Lindsay on Aug 03, 2007.
 

Comments

drystyx

so far so good — 4 years ago

I do like “We didn’t start the fire”, but the rest of the songs are bad. In fact, most of them are lousy enough to be on this list. I’m with you on this one, lindsay.

May 07, 09:40PM | 0 comments | Reply to this

mizoguchi

Untitled — 4 years ago

Well, Bennie and the Jets and Freebird are excellent…

Nov 25, 11:41AM | 1 comment | Reply to this

tiltowwhirl

Surely there's more than 16 bad songs out there. — 4 years ago

…but it’s a great start. Most of these I find very annoying. I only disagree with two choices: Benny and the Jets is an all time classic, and That’s the Way I Like It, who knows why, probably because it reminds me of my childhood. I was king of the dance floor at age 12.

Nov 18, 05:53AM | 0 comments | Reply to this

Greg

I think I'm on Michelle's side — 4 years ago

I like more of these than I hate. I’m with you on “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” and “You’re the Inspiration” (Chicago at its treacliest).

And you’re verging on heresy casting aspersions at C.C.R. and “Freebird”

Aug 04, 08:54PM | 2 comments | Reply to this



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