Jennifer's "1,000 Horrible Things"

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1. 351. Squeeze a lemon then remember I have a paper cut Drag me to re-order

2. 352. Flat tire Drag me to re-order

3. 353. Handle my baby son in a way that doesn't resemble the way I handle a rugby ball. Drag me to re-order

4. 354. Continue to bite my son's girlfriend for each time she kisses me and kiss her for each time she bites me. Drag me to re-order

5. 355. Bite into a mealy apple Drag me to re-order

6. 356. cockroaches! Drag me to re-order

7. 357. Make people love airplane food Drag me to re-order

8. 358. Contract food poisoning from trying out some scary food in an exotic country Drag me to re-order

9. 359. Airplane food Drag me to re-order

10. 360. learn to control animals mind, set a whole of animals free, and have the tigers guard my secret base while i have the monkeys and gibbons stealgold at fort knox and then start a fake buisness as a front for my revolt of the animals to reclaim the world Drag me to re-order

11. 361. fight an evil killer robot ninja monkey and his legion of super mutant zombie monkeys, with the help of my friend, future eddee and his trusty sidekick, nacho the super duper donkey Drag me to re-order

12. 362. hug a monkey Drag me to re-order

13. 363. make a hot-air balloon hot tub Drag me to re-order

14. 364. know hot to hot wire a car beacuse my keys were lost when my friends went to a cemitary last night Drag me to re-order

15. 365. eat 10 raw eggs followed by 29 raw Chickens Drag me to re-order

16. 366. smell like raw chicken Drag me to re-order

17. 367. Smell raw sewage Drag me to re-order

18. 368. be under fire Drag me to re-order

19. 369. fight fire with fire (and have it actually work) Drag me to re-order

20. 370. get a coworker fired Drag me to re-order

21. 371. Get up, get ready, get to work, get some compensation, get fired up about a new week of blissful interaction with John Q. Public Drag me to re-order

22. 372. get Helen fired! Drag me to re-order

23. 373. when the time is right, steal Richard Bransons spaceships and become an intergalactic space villain whilst keeping the space female go-go dancers as crewmen and NOT be forced to comply to pastel uniform styles. Drag me to re-order

24. 374. screw space ships, i'll make an earth ship, and fly the whole earth through space Drag me to re-order

25. 375. go to a Scorpions concert Drag me to re-order

26. 376. Buy a white suite and dye my hair white Drag me to re-order

27. 377. anthrax Drag me to re-order

28. 378. botulism Drag me to re-order

29. 379. shock people Drag me to re-order

30. 380. Shock my teacher Drag me to re-order

31. 381. survive a gunshot wound to the head Drag me to re-order

32. 382. puncture wound Drag me to re-order

33. 383. watch the marching band march without me Drag me to re-order

34. 384. Be in marching band Drag me to re-order

35. 385. APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!! TE HE HE HE!!! MAYBE IF I WAS REALLY HAVING A CHILD TO BUILD A TIME MACHINE THEY COULD GO BACK AND MAKE ME GET PRANKED. BUT UNTIL THEN........HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!!!! Drag me to re-order

36. 386. Give up french fries for April in support of the people giving up caffeine for April Drag me to re-order

37. 387. go on a diet Drag me to re-order

38. 388. arthritis Drag me to re-order

39. 389. fibromyalgia Drag me to re-order

40. 390. Slightly burn your daddy Drag me to re-order

41. 391. Burn your hand on the coils in the oven Drag me to re-order

42. 392. punch something in a fit of anger and break your hand Drag me to re-order

43. 393. Accidentally shave off one eyebrow Drag me to re-order

44. 394. shave my eyebrows off Drag me to re-order

45. 395. tattoo on eyeliner Drag me to re-order

46. 396. expose myself Drag me to re-order

47. 397. expose my gaping anus Drag me to re-order

48. 398. promulgate the medicinal uses of bananas Drag me to re-order

49. 399. promulgate Bertrand Russell's liberal decalogue Drag me to re-order

50. 400. own a pretentious dog Drag me to re-order

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