cranberrygoddess's "Quirkiest goals on 43T"

1. 1. I want to dress up like a pirate, hijack a galleon, and board cruise ships without permission. I won't steal anything -- just make the passengers drink rum and wake up wondering if the night before really happened... Drag me to re-order

2. 2. receive a letter from Hogwarts apologizing for the late owl but informing me that i am actually a wizard. Drag me to re-order

3. 3. pull a prank involving 100 lawn gnomes Drag me to re-order

4. 4. skip to class in the morning while the world explodes around me in a plethora of beautiful sonic explosions caused by the collision of multiple strings of space-time after a comet strikes the pope Drag me to re-order

5. 5. walk 500 miles, and walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked 1000 miles. Drag me to re-order

6. 6. take a brisk walk into a raging firestorm, and come out the other side purified Drag me to re-order

7. 7. I want to be someone or see someone taking a break from eating rolls to roll a joint while they roll while drinking a rolling rock while listening to rock and roll in a rolls thats rolling through some rolling hills Drag me to re-order

8. 8. marry the guy that invented ROLL-UPS so he can make me roll-ups n our house will be made out of ROLL-UPs Drag me to re-order

9. 9. jingle my toes as I slowly jog down the boardwalk, bowling over the penniless beggar monkeys whose wretched existence reminds me of my own tortured past as a sidewalk musician in Kalamazoo, where I played trumpet and harmonica simultaneously Drag me to re-order

10. 10. become so jaded and bitter that I drop out of society to live in the wilderness in a timber hut while tending to abstract mathematical theorems, the "MANIFESTO" and have conversations with the ghosts of dead 80's hair metal acts. Drag me to re-order

11. 11. Quit thinking I think too much and embrace my thought process Drag me to re-order

12. 12. quit having abstract thoughts Drag me to re-order

13. 13. quickly split an infinitive Drag me to re-order

14. 14. beat someone to death with a can of peas Drag me to re-order

15. 15. beat to death with one of their own limbs the first person who suggests it should really be called the 'Báthory Erzsébet Spa & Beauty Retreat' Drag me to re-order

16. 16. beat a mouse to death with licorice Drag me to re-order

17. 17. live vicariously through Joel Drag me to re-order

18. 18. run through the halls of my high school, while Joel screams at the top of his lungs Drag me to re-order

19. 19. have Joel's demon love child Drag me to re-order

20. 20. fight for civil lefts Drag me to re-order

21. 21. get drunk in an old irish pub and a scotish pub to see which gets me more drunk Drag me to re-order

22. 22. cause the apocalypse by accident; preferably one involving some sort of unique confectionary concoction and a menagerie of animals Drag me to re-order

23. 23. cause a zombie apocalypse Drag me to re-order

24. 24. find someone foreign to eat with food Drag me to re-order

25. 25. Appear in an Editorial cartoon using the President as a wooden dummy puppet while the President uses a judge as a puppet himself Drag me to re-order

26. 26. write a song about keyboards, clowns, and murderous presidents with telepathic sock puppets Drag me to re-order

27. 27. spontaneously combust Drag me to re-order

28. 28. be less spontaneous Drag me to re-order

29. 29. concoct witty comments on Joel's away messages Drag me to re-order

30. 30. concoct a plan of world domination Drag me to re-order

31. 31. Learn to tie a maraschino cherry stem with my tongue Drag me to re-order

32. 32. Be a Jedi Master Drag me to re-order

33. 33. Have an underground lair Drag me to re-order

34. 34. go to Las Vegas and become a minister of a wedding chapel dressed up like a flying Elvis and marry drunk people with a pink flamingo on a leash by my side Drag me to re-order

35. 35. be promoted to my level of incompetence where I will choke the remaining morale out of my workplace and brown nose my gold plated overlord bosses at every chance I can get all while making my minions toil away for a pittance in their cubicle salt mines. Drag me to re-order

36. 36. have my own minions, underlings, lackies, toadies, yes-men, or zombies Drag me to re-order

37. 37. ride an ostrich Drag me to re-order

38. 38. visit every state except Iowa Drag me to re-order

39. 39. pull a prank involving a kiddie pool full of pudding Drag me to re-order

40. 40. purchase guam Drag me to re-order

41. 41. Go on a monopoly board pub crawl Drag me to re-order

42. 42. be under the sea in an octopus' garden Drag me to re-order

43. 43. skydive in my underwear Drag me to re-order

44. 44. Shrink Texas. Drag me to re-order

45. 45. annoy an albatross Drag me to re-order

46. 46. be a pink plastic flamingo for a day Drag me to re-order

47. 47. barbecue a dinosaur Drag me to re-order

48. 48. resurrect dinosaurs into the modern era so I can satisfy my curiosity about who would win between dinosaurs and tanks in a battle on the field of honor. Drag me to re-order

49. 49. fax cheese Drag me to re-order

50. 50. train a monkey to run around in circles in exchange for cheese, and use it to power a cheese-making machine Drag me to re-order

51. 51. Own a purple monkey Drag me to re-order

52. 52. fight an evil killer robot ninja monkey and his legion of super mutant zombie monkeys, with the help of my friend, future eddee and his trusty sidekick, nacho the super duper donkey Drag me to re-order

53. 53. sneeze the alphabet Drag me to re-order

54. 54. Slap someone with a fish Drag me to re-order

55. 55. inscribe a secret tablet, guide to the ancient stone temple, with the words "when you approach the ancient stone temple you must be attractive and scantily clad" Drag me to re-order

56. 56. open a "new army" across the street from an Old Navy Store and give the Old Navy manager a dirty look every morning Drag me to re-order

57. 57. Get My Freak On Drag me to re-order

58. 58. Invent a time machine, go back and invent said time machine yesterday so I have time machine right now Drag me to re-order

59. 59. swim in a bathtub of noodles Drag me to re-order

60. 60. Teach my youngest dog to stop scaring other dog owners with her signature scream! Drag me to re-order

61. 61. teach linux the cat to act like a cat, not a shark Drag me to re-order

62. 62. start a non-profit organization to help people like me with an addiction to juicy juice juice boxes Drag me to re-order

63. 63. have a castle surrounded by crocodiles Drag me to re-order

64. 64. convince an armadillo he's no better than I am. Drag me to re-order

65. 65. Kiss a Giraffe Drag me to re-order

66. 66. Be eaten by a panda Drag me to re-order

67. 67. convince people that 0+0=1 Drag me to re-order

68. 68. Not lose my lucky math lipgloss so I can pass math with flying colors and let Heather use it too to make up for giving her my "unlucky" math lipgloss on the midterm back when I thought that lipgloss was lucky! Drag me to re-order

69. 69. become a penguin Drag me to re-order

70. 70. play duck, duck, goose with a biker gang Drag me to re-order

71. 71. get an attack goose Drag me to re-order

72. 72. paint a frog on a snail's shell and see if I can get an actual frog to mate with it Drag me to re-order

73. 73. Be attacked by a snail Drag me to re-order

74. 74. enter a dwarf tossing contest using waldman 4 my dwarf Drag me to re-order

75. 75. Fill a suitcase with candy and toys and go on various interviews, during which I will take out the toys and play or slowly unwrap candy and place it on the desk while staring intently at my interviewer Drag me to re-order

76. 76. live in a home for the criminally insane. the most insane in the world. Drag me to re-order

77. 77. Host a 'mad' tea party; the madness shall be embraced with the help of mushroom tea. Drag me to re-order

78. 78. scare my grandchildren with stories of my crazed past Drag me to re-order

79. 79. find a quirky male sidekick Drag me to re-order

80. 80. hypnotise sheep Drag me to re-order

81. 81. Buy a troll with yellow hair Drag me to re-order

82. 82. fly up into the sky and then chew on some bubble gum flavored broccoli while the whole moon floats on the Atlantic, Indian and Pacific Oceans which somehow all got transported to a different dimension and galexy so, the moon has trouble getting there, and Drag me to re-order

83. 83. Fill a bottle with water from the Pacific Ocean and empty it into the Atlantic Ocean Drag me to re-order

84. 84. sell sea shells by the sea shore Drag me to re-order

85. 85. see a forklift lift a crate of forks...it would be so damn literal for me...You're using that machine for its exact purpose, that machine has been misunderstood for years! Drag me to re-order

86. 86. prong satan with a giant fork Drag me to re-order

87. 87. marry an ape Drag me to re-order

88. 88. get trapped in a whale' meet panoccio'burn him as fire wood' and come out the whales blow hole Drag me to re-order

89. 89. throw turnips at the squirrel that steals my strawberries Drag me to re-order

90. 90. hijack one of Kim's threads and have a long meandering conversation about limericks, computer games, and other things not having to do with hats at all Drag me to re-order

91. 91. hijack a parade a la Ferris Bueller Drag me to re-order

92. 92. grow a diabolical mustache Drag me to re-order

93. 93. Go back in time and laugh at Hitlers moustache Drag me to re-order

94. 94. slay a dragon Drag me to re-order

95. 95. Do some Pirate Radio ... on a Boat. With Pirates. Drag me to re-order

96. 96. Shiver yer Timbers Drag me to re-order

97. 97. Democratize my ant farm Drag me to re-order

98. 98. learn to control animals mind, set a whole of animals free, and have the tigers guard my secret base while i have the monkeys and gibbons stealgold at fort knox and then start a fake buisness as a front for my revolt of the animals to reclaim the world Drag me to re-order

99. 99. be the world's greatest nut Drag me to re-order

100. 100. make one super-vegetable that contains all other vegetables until there are no more vegetables but my vegetable and i shall take over the world with my vegetable Drag me to re-order

101. 101. go drunk golfing Drag me to re-order

102. 102. don't write emails when drunk, infact do not even go on the internet when drunk!!!!! Drag me to re-order

103. 103. Make a list of 101 lists to list! Drag me to re-order

104. 104. color a Kids Menu at a restaurant and enter it in the contest without telling them it was colored by a grown up Drag me to re-order

105. 105. have a blog that everyone reads and thinks "hmm" Drag me to re-order

106. 106. be discovered while pumping gas into my car and humming along with the music being played over the pumps Drag me to re-order

107. 107. have an elephant sneeze on me Drag me to re-order

108. 108. Start my own super-super chunky peanut butter line Drag me to re-order

109. 109. be there instead of being square Drag me to re-order

110. 110. masticate in a public area Drag me to re-order

111. 111. Make a long list of arbitrary goals and entries about them then never complete any Drag me to re-order

112. 112. be John Malkovich Drag me to re-order

113. 113. play a kazoo and do an interpretive dance for the next presidential inaugeration (it will be christopher walken...i know it) Drag me to re-order

114. 114. buy a kazoo and glockenspiel and learn some marching band tunes ready for next time my colleague starts his incessent millitary-style drumming on his desk with his fingers. Drag me to re-order

115. 115. play bethoven's 5th on the kazoo Drag me to re-order

116. 116. learn the banjo and then create and compose for a banjo orchestra Drag me to re-order

117. 117. prove that the concertina is aesthetically superior to the accordion Drag me to re-order

118. 118. throw something through my tv and have it land on the other side in "Tv land" Drag me to re-order

119. 119. make silly bets with silly consequences Drag me to re-order

120. 120. extreme iron Drag me to re-order

121. 121. psychoanalyze my lizzard Drag me to re-order

122. 122. predict the apocalypse Drag me to re-order

123. 123. breath fire Drag me to re-order

124. 124. obtain a fire-bellied toad Drag me to re-order

125. 125. bite apple's apple on the left side Drag me to re-order

126. 126. stop comparing apples to oranges and start putting the comparison firmly where it belongs,...with the apple Drag me to re-order

127. 127. throttle my chakras Drag me to re-order

128. 128. memorize the first fifteen digits of pi, utilizing an anagram of the word "marmotry" Drag me to re-order

129. 129. engage in hedonism with marmots, without debauchery with marmots Drag me to re-order

130. 130. be in a Catholic punk band with a marmot drummer Drag me to re-order

131. 131. play strip physics with seven marmots Drag me to re-order

132. 132. become a Minister of Silly Walks to heretic marmots Drag me to re-order

133. 133. do everything i need to get done for monday before the flavour is gone in my ice breakers ice cube gum Drag me to re-order

134. 134. make people realize just how ridiculous and wonderful the word "coffee" is: coffee. coffee. coffee. coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee! coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee. Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee, coffee? C Drag me to re-order

135. 135. Kiss my Chihuahuas Drag me to re-order

136. 136. when it's raining have an umbrella so i can perform the song and dance for singing in the rain.:D Drag me to re-order

137. 137. learn ALL the words to "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice Drag me to re-order

138. 138. when the time is right, steal Richard Bransons spaceships and become an intergalactic space villain whilst keeping the space female go-go dancers as crewmen and NOT be forced to comply to pastel uniform styles. Drag me to re-order

139. 139. Spread the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Drag me to re-order

140. 140. spread the gospel of the flaming cabbage Drag me to re-order

141. 141. Gather public support that I am the true hebrew messiah by obnoxious methods, that way I can join the growing pantheon of the flying spaghetti monster Drag me to re-order

142. 142. meet the flying spaghetti monster Drag me to re-order

143. 143. spread the Mental_Floss gospel Drag me to re-order

144. 144. Tell the next Jehovahs witness to come to your door about a great spaghetti monster Drag me to re-order

145. 145. Spread the message of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism Drag me to re-order

146. 146. knit a flying spaghetti monster Drag me to re-order

147. 147. become a sith lord Drag me to re-order

148. 148. Construct Vogon poetry out of goals Drag me to re-order

149. 149. meet a man who smells faintly of lemons and Vogons Drag me to re-order

150. 150. become President of the Galaxy (Zaphod beware!) Drag me to re-order

151. 151. get an attack wombat Drag me to re-order

152. 152. stop the lizards invasion Drag me to re-order

153. 153. get a dingo+husky+sausage dog pups who will all live in harmony Drag me to re-order

154. 154. Love her, follow West Ham United, and understand the Dingo Drag me to re-order

155. 155. spit on a dingo Drag me to re-order

156. 156. Re-invent the hedgehog Drag me to re-order

157. 157. sneak a porcupine into a petting zoo Drag me to re-order

158. 158. participate plastically with particular porcupines Drag me to re-order

159. 159. find the jellyfish of love Drag me to re-order

160. 160. wrestle oversized zebras Drag me to re-order

161. 161. build a gigantic flying robot Buddha Drag me to re-order

162. 162. Re-start The Obstreperiously Cantankerous Stentorians, and rule the musical world Drag me to re-order

163. 163. Open a restaurant or market my potato(e) dishes and call it "This Spuds For You" or "You Say Potato(e) I Say F*ck You" (Sorry that last one was my hubbies suggestion)- I still think there should be an E on the end. Drag me to re-order

164. 164. give a Canadian a bouquet of weeds (weed flowers) from someone else (even if the someone else didn't know about it) Drag me to re-order

165. 165. date an elf Drag me to re-order

166. 166. set an elf on fire Drag me to re-order

167. 167. Catch a fairy Drag me to re-order

168. 168. write dairy everyday Drag me to re-order

169. 169. have a chocolate cow Drag me to re-order

170. 170. have a cow man Drag me to re-order

171. 171. marry a mermaid Drag me to re-order

172. 172. Get a parrot and teach it to talk like Yoda Drag me to re-order

173. 173. rig my car so windshield wiper fluid will hit the cars behind me Drag me to re-order

174. 174. taxi an airplane through the airport Drag me to re-order

175. 175. make love to a seahorse Drag me to re-order

176. 176. live in a fancy neighborhood and then be the quirky neighbor with all the cats Drag me to re-order

177. 177. give knighthoods to haggis eaters the world over, and let them henceforth be known as Hamish McHaggis Drag me to re-order

178. 178. Let it be known that I appreciate the quirkiness of the Hasselhoffs Drag me to re-order

179. 179. hack someone's computer and surprise them by remotely opening their CD tray Drag me to re-order

180. 180. make a "Waldo" dress and have someone find me in a huge crowd Drag me to re-order

181. 181. howl at the moon Drag me to re-order

182. 182. report a very similar goal Drag me to re-order

183. 183. gently remind all those stuck-up,mean-spirited,haute couture-hypnotized,frozen-beauties that they're just walking mini-oceans with oily chunks of tissue supported by rickety calcium rods that are wrapped up in a semi-permeable,UV resistant membrane. Drag me to re-order

184. 184. Remember that just because you're not Paranoid, doesn't mean they're not all out to get you...or even some(one) Drag me to re-order

185. 185. spend the night foraging for edible plants in a brazilian jungle Drag me to re-order

186. 186. cultivate unassailable poise Drag me to re-order

187. 187. come up with 43 super-stellar, neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie, tubularly bitchin goals Drag me to re-order

188. 188. come up with a new English word Drag me to re-order

189. 189. invent a new color of crayola crayon.. and also make a new line of crayola crayons that have flavors that match their colors Drag me to re-order

190. 190. mail a banana Drag me to re-order

191. 191. have a miniature beagle Drag me to re-order

192. 192. have a journey around the world on Beagle Drag me to re-order

193. 193. promulgate the medicinal uses of bananas Drag me to re-order

194. 194. stay on the razor Drag me to re-order

195. 195. Spend an extended time on a train thinking about anything and everything and nothing and come up with crazy ideas that you would only come up with with hours and hours of time spent looking out a train window watching the everything go by. Drag me to re-order

196. 196. write a book or zine about the trio that lives on my dashboard-jojo (the spider monkey), skully (the packet of skull + Xbones tissues) and lump of coal (a lump of coal I found in the railyard) Drag me to re-order

197. 197. meet a girl whose gaze sends chills up my spine and pushes my heart off a yawning abyss only to collapse in a vertiginous lump of malleable tissue, which ends up with me saying "yes, dear," a lot in my advanced age and hiding behind the Sunday Times Drag me to re-order

198. 198. Learn how to stop looking for something that I'm holding in my hand: and by the way, those sunglasses that I've been searching for with a rising temperature of irritation--best measured in British Thermal Units--are on my flippin' head. Drag me to re-order

199. 199. find out why crying makes you produce enormous amounts of snot. Drag me to re-order

200. 200. Be able to sell my snot on Ebay for thousands of dollars Drag me to re-order

201. 201. Turn the world upside down Drag me to re-order

202. 202. turn the world upside down if that's what it takes to find a gorgeous redhead! Drag me to re-order

203. 203. howl with the beagle Drag me to re-order

204. 204. eat a crayon Drag me to re-order

205. 205. find a unique, cute little travel mascot to take with me on all trips and photograph "him" next to touristy sites wherever i go...(kind of like the traveling gnome). Drag me to re-order

206. 206. drink kava which has been masticated by virgins Drag me to re-order

207. 207. Restore my virginity Drag me to re-order

208. 208. Find out if the Hokey-Pokey really IS what it's all about Drag me to re-order

209. 209. Remember that "There is no spoon" Drag me to re-order

210. 210. Pour a big bowl of cereal, get your spoon, and the paper and pour orange juice then grab the milk and realize there is no milk and you are not having cereal this morning, not at all Drag me to re-order

211. 211. fill the red car with jelly and push it off of a cliff so I can hear it "Splat" and then laugh and laugh. Drag me to re-order

212. 212. Pretend my house is haunted, so I can have paranormal detectives check it out and then laugh when they don't find ghosts Drag me to re-order

213. 213. Get a pet donkey, so I can openly and publically extol the virtues of my ass Drag me to re-order

214. 214. Go back in time and take embarrassing photos of Stalin in the bath Drag me to re-order

215. 215. go back in time so i can watch myself say i want go back in time, and say that I will never go back in time and it's a stupid thing that you want to do Drag me to re-order

216. 216. unleash my inner lustmonkey Drag me to re-order

217. 217. Become the Mayor of "funky town" Drag me to re-order

218. 218. Say farewell to my 34th year, a.k.a The Year of Debauchery and welcome and name my 35th year something that'll get me in less trouble. Drag me to re-order

219. 219. I want to take one day a week to piddle around. This is not the same day that I rest and nap and lolligag. I need two nonwork days. If I choose to work a little, fine. Drag me to re-order

220. 220. celebrate New Years twice in one year by crossing the International Date Line. Drag me to re-order

221. 221. sell michigan to canada Drag me to re-order

222. 222. write the screenplay of the Chinese version of The Office Drag me to re-order

223. 223. Look for opportunities to say dramatic lines like, "You'll live to regret this" or "Hello, my name is Indigo Montoyo. You killed my father! Prepare to die." Drag me to re-order

224. 224. this is dumb. folks, go read a newspaper, smoke a joint if you must, go fish down yonder in the river, but don't waste your time on this! remember, you'll regret it when you're old and tired of living... Drag me to re-order

225. 225. be a succulent wild woman Drag me to re-order

226. 226. climb mount everest and at the summit wail on a guitar to a 80's hair metal act like Van Halen or Dokken while fighter jets fly over streaming the stars and stripes and bigfoot trucks driven by swimsuit models climb up the mountain. Drag me to re-order

227. 227. visit all the taco vans/trucks/buses in Seattle Drag me to re-order

228. 228. Try to levitate a bus with 100 people inside and 50 sitting around it-a big bus. Drag me to re-order

229. 229. Sing, "The Wheels on the Bus" on a bus. Drag me to re-order

230. 230. Train my cat to walk on a leash. Drag me to re-order

231. 231. Get them to film a Godzilla Mockumentary in IMAX! Drag me to re-order

232. 232. Build a life-sized replica of Stonehenge in South Dakota, have the Discovery Channel film it and watch the politicians get $signs in their eyes, then not let anyone in except for weddings and dragon hunts. Drag me to re-order

233. 233. build a life size replica of myself from Lego Drag me to re-order

234. 234. Complete every social experiment I found in my Grandfather's Scrapbook from 1938. Drag me to re-order

235. 235. List 100 things that make me a harmless eccentric Drag me to re-order

236. 236. make sure all of the preppie people go to hell and burn Drag me to re-order

237. 237. Burn all of my Ebay junk straight to hell. Drag me to re-order

238. 238. conquer the known universe and be known as Emperor Zod Almighty Drag me to re-order

239. 239. get photos of the 43 shittest Origami known to mankind Drag me to re-order

240. 240. build a fort in my livingroom Drag me to re-order

241. 241. turn my left foot into a vending machine Drag me to re-order

242. 242. turn a sewing machine into a hat Drag me to re-order

243. 243. Turn my hamster into a Fighting Machine. Drag me to re-order

244. 244. celebrate my inner Hasselhoff Drag me to re-order

245. 245. SHAMELESSLY BEG FOR A MAGAZINE COVER OF DAVID HASSELHOFF. And ... a spork not colored black or white. Drag me to re-order

246. 246. feast on the flesh of the living Drag me to re-order

247. 247. see if anyone will cheer this Drag me to re-order

248. 248. look into the abyss to see the abyss looking back at me. Hey! Abyss! Who are you exactly? Drag me to re-order

249. 249. (misuse parentheticals) Drag me to re-order

250. 250. aquire some cool, marmot related goals, to be part of the "hip crowd" :) Drag me to re-order

251. 251. clean my entire house by dipping marmot tails in lemon juice Drag me to re-order

252. 252. Discover some hitherto unknown attribute of the universe that physics can't explain and therefore deems "dark-something" Drag me to re-order

253. 253. create an interpretive dance for "bat out of hell" Drag me to re-order

254. 254. Explain something through interpretive dance. Drag me to re-order

255. 255. find a way to gather every existing person who calls themselves 'emo' or 'scenster' and destroy them all at once. Maybe using fire. Drag me to re-order

256. 256. eat all existance Drag me to re-order

257. 257. suddenly, and against all probability, be called into existence Drag me to re-order

258. 258. see a leopard fight a oyster Drag me to re-order

259. 259. see a priest fight a wizard Drag me to re-order

260. 260. make a robot blush Drag me to re-order

261. 261. catch salmon with me "bear" hands (like a bear) Drag me to re-order

262. 262. make a robot kill a bear Drag me to re-order

263. 263. smoke a cigarette with bigfoot Drag me to re-order

264. 264. find a cure for Prune Belly Syndrome Drag me to re-order

265. 265. find a cure for gravity Drag me to re-order

266. 266. build a race car out of spoon bread Drag me to re-order

267. 267. Tap a gerbil with a pencil until it gives me 3 wishes Drag me to re-order

268. 268. sharpen a pencil to such a fine point, that when i throw it, it moves faster than the speed of light and travels back in time Drag me to re-order

269. 269. Watch "The Wizard of Oz" at the same time as listening to Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" Drag me to re-order

270. 270. make peace with my shadow Drag me to re-order

271. 271. make friends with the monsters under my bed Drag me to re-order

272. 272. always know where my towel is Drag me to re-order

273. 273. uncover a government conspiracy Drag me to re-order

274. 274. create a coven dedicated to Isis Drag me to re-order

275. 275. Raise hell...without harming others or myself! Drag me to re-order

276. 276. Change the name of Hell to New Hell. Drag me to re-order

277. 277. glow in the dark Drag me to re-order

278. 278. climb mount everest and defeat the evil lord Zorron with green magic lighting bags. I also wish to become a dark mage of the dark burrow. Drag me to re-order

279. 279. chew my cud Drag me to re-order

280. 280. go on a drunken camping trip Drag me to re-order

281. 281. study drunken boxing Drag me to re-order

282. 282. colonize mars Drag me to re-order

283. 283. accidently dial someone in croatia Drag me to re-order

284. 284. genetically engineer fire-spewing dragons Drag me to re-order

285. 285. I want to be the person who discovers exactly how much wood a woodchuck could chuck IF a woodchuck could chuck AND willingly would chuck wood! Drag me to re-order

286. 286. throw a chinese throwing star at a mall santa Drag me to re-order

287. 287. eat grass Drag me to re-order

288. 288. end up marooned on a deserted tropical island Drag me to re-order

289. 289. spend my retired years sitting in a cafe in France, with a big black hat, pearls, black dress and gloves, smoking my cig that has a black long filter. Drag me to re-order

290. 290. have one white tiger, one white parrot, and one white dog Drag me to re-order

291. 291. visit Sri Lanka--the only country shaped like a mango! The men wear funny half-rodes when they are relaxing and eat late at night...with their hands! Drag me to re-order

292. 292. drink wine late into the night and talk about something meaningless but seemingly important at the time with someone smart, funny and slightly dangerous Drag me to re-order

293. 293. Share the idiosyncracies of small town southern life Drag me to re-order

294. 294. declare world war three, because a pizza told me to! Drag me to re-order

295. 295. declare war on punctuation Drag me to re-order

296. 296. be brief, concise and to the Point: this means not being verbose and going on and on about stuff endlessly and so on and so forth. Fortunately, I know at least one person who has no problem with this. Drag me to re-order

297. 297. some mystery person's cold to go away so they are the chipper fun person they usually are (not that they aren't chipper and fun even with a nasty virus) so go away mr. icky virus/cold guy and go off and visit the white house, they'll like you there. Drag me to re-order

298. 298. be slightly more funkay although not so funkay so that I alientate those who are somewhat less funky than me. Drag me to re-order

299. 299. fix my "things" so that I can complete them more often and experience success. AND be better at writing more concise goals Drag me to re-order

300. 300. i would like to dance with a peacock Drag me to re-order

301. 301. help my daughter make the world's biggest cookie, because she is a cookie pirate Drag me to re-order

302. 302. avoid cliches like the plague Drag me to re-order

303. 303. Figure out a logical manner in which to compile the "20 people i will have in my bunker when the plague breaks out" list Drag me to re-order

304. 304. Put a Plague on Both Their Houses Drag me to re-order

305. 305. use the line" Baby, you've got more culture than a petri dish" Drag me to re-order

306. 306. screw space ships, i'll make an earth ship, and fly the whole earth through space Drag me to re-order

307. 307. have the precision of a German Drag me to re-order

308. 308. extract my own DNA at home Drag me to re-order

309. 309. sit in a booth next to J.D. Salinger and eavesdrop on his conversation Drag me to re-order