Lists of Bests: abbeynormal's "Goals that make me LAUGH"

climb mount everest and at the summit wail on a guitar to a 80's hair metal act like Van Halen or Dokken while fighter jets fly over streaming the stars and stripes and bigfoot trucks driven by swimsuit models climb up the mountain.

make one super-vegetable that contains all other vegetables until there are no more vegetables but my vegetable and i shall take over the world with my vegetable

make peace with vegetables

enjoy colonic irrigation with judith chalmers

fill all my bodily orafaces with tobacco and limes

see a leopard fight a oyster

see a priest fight a wizard

watch Ronald McDonald and the Burger King have a fist fight.

celebrate my David Lynch-themed birthday, and ensuing quarter life train wreck, by violently purging my stomach lining and destroying any sense of decency I once had by snorting cocaine off a backward-speaking midget’s back

paint a tasteful portrait of Christ on a bike

Create an army of cybernetically enhanced warriors mounted on giant armored chickens

go to a drunken party, but not be drunk. Maybe have a buzz but let the drunk people entertain me, like TV

find my glorious image on a piece of toast, sell it on ebay for a grand sum of money, donate the proceeds to my favorite charity

Sell my soul for an outrageous sum of money, then buy it back cheaply and make a huge profit

drink that purp, or sizzurp

find myself on the planet Ogo, part of an intellectual elite preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto...more often

I wanna ride my harley on planet pluto beneath flying unicorns and aliens drunk on vodka

fight an evil killer robot ninja monkey and his legion of super mutant zombie monkeys, with the help of my friend, future eddee and his trusty sidekick, nacho the super duper donkey on vodka

unite pirates and ninjas

lasso a fly with a string, then let it fly around attached to my string leash

skip to class in the morning while the world explodes around me in a plethora of beautiful sonic explosions caused by the collision of multiple strings of space-time after a comet strikes the pope

I want to be someone or see someone taking a break from eating rolls to roll a joint while they roll while drinking a rolling rock while listening to rock and roll in a rolls thats rolling through some rolling hills

show my former diocese priest a series of disturbing vacation slides showing my descent from good wholesome catholic boy to a perverse gap-toothed maniac intent on turning my house into an exact replica of a Cluedo board with candlestick furnishings.

experience everything and write it all down as it happens. Best book ever!

run through an Amish village naked covered with nintendo controllers, xmas lights and an Ipod buttplug all while screaming "IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN, IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN."

Remind all those stuck-up,mean-spirited,haute couture-hypnotized,frozen-beauties that they're just walking mini-oceans with oily chunks of tissue supported by rickety calcium rods that are wrapped up in a semi-permeable,UV resistant membrane.

I want to dress up like a pirate, hijack a galleon, and board cruise ships without permission. I won't steal anything -- just make the passengers drink rum and wake up wondering if the night before really happened...

319

aggravate a yak

Tickle the Pope

Buy strange animals, put them in the living room and then deny knowing about how they got there when questioned by my roommates

gather all the animal rights protesters in the world, put them in a room and gradually increase the pressure until they explode

Zero in on my customers having a bad day, take them aside and ask them what sort of hand gesture they might make to show how they feel, and see if they will do it

devour a bottle of Adrenochrome and wake up in a flooded hotel room with a dinosaur tail strapped to my butt, a recorder on my chest, drug paraphenalia floating across the room and a six-shooter in the toilet.

make my keyboard and mouse have sex thus making some form of freaky new computer paraphernalia which I shall give the German sounding name of kouse or von meboard.

revise enemies list, make up with any adversaries I have failed to vanquish thus far

hold a party involving 500 loyal followers and a truckload of kool aid before discarding our human containers to ride a comet to heaven

duplicate exactly the jim jones kool-aid massacre using only midgets and jager shots

Invent a time machine, go back and invent said time machine yesterday so I have time machine right now

Invent a time machine by accident

have hair so radical it makes corporate dicks shrivel

bend my mind with a spoon

run with spoons

be cryogenically stored until death is cured

Cryogenically freeze myself until someone invents a time machine so i can go back in time to warn myself that it is too cold being cryogenically frozen.

cover myself in double-sided tape and catapult myself at the whitehouse

create the nexus for Smurf erotica on the internet

become calm and tranquil like a buddhist monk meditating at Lake Placid and when people aren't expecting it BAM! I'll turn into a supersized ferocious crocodile and eat them.

become so jaded and bitter that I drop out of society to live in the wilderness in a timber hut while tending to abstract mathematical theorems, the "MANIFESTO" and have conversations with the ghosts of dead 80's hair metal acts.

Create "Internet: the musical"

build a village for midgets to live in with mice dressed up as tiny people so they can pretend to be giants

Lists of Bests: abbeynormal's "Goals that make me LAUGH"

climb mount everest and at the summit wail on a guitar to a 80's hair metal act like Van Halen or Dokken while fighter jets fly over streaming the stars and stripes and bigfoot trucks driven by swimsuit models climb up the mountain.

make one super-vegetable that contains all other vegetables until there are no more vegetables but my vegetable and i shall take over the world with my vegetable

make peace with vegetables

enjoy colonic irrigation with judith chalmers

fill all my bodily orafaces with tobacco and limes

see a leopard fight a oyster

see a priest fight a wizard

watch Ronald McDonald and the Burger King have a fist fight.

celebrate my David Lynch-themed birthday, and ensuing quarter life train wreck, by violently purging my stomach lining and destroying any sense of decency I once had by snorting cocaine off a backward-speaking midget’s back

paint a tasteful portrait of Christ on a bike

Create an army of cybernetically enhanced warriors mounted on giant armored chickens

go to a drunken party, but not be drunk. Maybe have a buzz but let the drunk people entertain me, like TV

find my glorious image on a piece of toast, sell it on ebay for a grand sum of money, donate the proceeds to my favorite charity

Sell my soul for an outrageous sum of money, then buy it back cheaply and make a huge profit

drink that purp, or sizzurp

find myself on the planet Ogo, part of an intellectual elite preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto...more often

I wanna ride my harley on planet pluto beneath flying unicorns and aliens drunk on vodka

fight an evil killer robot ninja monkey and his legion of super mutant zombie monkeys, with the help of my friend, future eddee and his trusty sidekick, nacho the super duper donkey on vodka

unite pirates and ninjas

lasso a fly with a string, then let it fly around attached to my string leash

skip to class in the morning while the world explodes around me in a plethora of beautiful sonic explosions caused by the collision of multiple strings of space-time after a comet strikes the pope

I want to be someone or see someone taking a break from eating rolls to roll a joint while they roll while drinking a rolling rock while listening to rock and roll in a rolls thats rolling through some rolling hills

show my former diocese priest a series of disturbing vacation slides showing my descent from good wholesome catholic boy to a perverse gap-toothed maniac intent on turning my house into an exact replica of a Cluedo board with candlestick furnishings.

experience everything and write it all down as it happens. Best book ever!

run through an Amish village naked covered with nintendo controllers, xmas lights and an Ipod buttplug all while screaming "IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN, IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN."

Remind all those stuck-up,mean-spirited,haute couture-hypnotized,frozen-beauties that they're just walking mini-oceans with oily chunks of tissue supported by rickety calcium rods that are wrapped up in a semi-permeable,UV resistant membrane.

I want to dress up like a pirate, hijack a galleon, and board cruise ships without permission. I won't steal anything -- just make the passengers drink rum and wake up wondering if the night before really happened...

aggravate a yak

Tickle the Pope

Buy strange animals, put them in the living room and then deny knowing about how they got there when questioned by my roommates

gather all the animal rights protesters in the world, put them in a room and gradually increase the pressure until they explode

Zero in on my customers having a bad day, take them aside and ask them what sort of hand gesture they might make to show how they feel, and see if they will do it

devour a bottle of Adrenochrome and wake up in a flooded hotel room with a dinosaur tail strapped to my butt, a recorder on my chest, drug paraphenalia floating across the room and a six-shooter in the toilet.

make my keyboard and mouse have sex thus making some form of freaky new computer paraphernalia which I shall give the German sounding name of kouse or von meboard.

revise enemies list, make up with any adversaries I have failed to vanquish thus far

hold a party involving 500 loyal followers and a truckload of kool aid before discarding our human containers to ride a comet to heaven

duplicate exactly the jim jones kool-aid massacre using only midgets and jager shots

Invent a time machine, go back and invent said time machine yesterday so I have time machine right now

Invent a time machine by accident

have hair so radical it makes corporate dicks shrivel

bend my mind with a spoon

run with spoons

be cryogenically stored until death is cured

Cryogenically freeze myself until someone invents a time machine so i can go back in time to warn myself that it is too cold being cryogenically frozen.

cover myself in double-sided tape and catapult myself at the whitehouse

create the nexus for Smurf erotica on the internet

become calm and tranquil like a buddhist monk meditating at Lake Placid and when people aren't expecting it *BAM!* I'll turn into a supersized ferocious crocodile and eat them.

become so jaded and bitter that I drop out of society to live in the wilderness in a timber hut while tending to abstract mathematical theorems, the "MANIFESTO" and have conversations with the ghosts of dead 80's hair metal acts.

Create "Internet: the musical"

build a village for midgets to live in with mice dressed up as tiny people so they can pretend to be giants

become calm and tranquil like a buddhist monk meditating at Lake Placid and when people aren't expecting it BAM! I'll turn into a supersized ferocious crocodile and eat them.