If you haven't read 'em, pretend you have

Isn’t the epitome of hip being a little bit of a vanguard and not letting anyone dictate your tastes but you? For example, someone truly hip wouldn’t bother reading Sedaris because, by virtue of its being identified as must-read for hipsters, it would move away from hipness into the passe.

And they would definitely never bother reading Robert Lanham. By the time someone comes up with a definition of hipness, puts it into writing, trucks it around to publishers, gets it accepted, and endures the time it takes a publisher to get the thing from manuscript to book, the entire book would already be outdated.

It’s carpe diem, not carpe here!

Oh - and by the way - call me unhip, but “deck”? “DECK”? From what pool of lame hip wannabes did Lanham dredge that one?

According to this list, though, it was entirely possible to be hip from way back. My mom, for example, loved reading J.D. Sallinger. Who wouldn’t—the guy is definitely more entertaining than Sedaris, right?

Needless to say, I am NOT hip. I do, however, have hips, which precludes me being hip. I am actually kinda square but - AAACK! No wait! I can’t be square because, according to Huey Lewis & the News (YES, I listened to Huey Lewis & the News and I DON’T CARE IF IT’S NOT HIP!!!), it is hip to be square and I absolutely REFUSE to be hip and have to go around saying “Deck” instead of “Cool.” Call me square, but I like saying “Cool”. No wait - don’t call me square. Call me - uh - just forget it …..

The whole book is a piss-take of hipsters, the way you’re talking, I can imagine that you’d love it; it really is rather funny.