There are so many goals where you look at it and think, I really want to pick that, but I am never seriously going to do it, and I have no more room left on my 43T list, so I figure, why not put them all together in a list so i at least feel satisfied that I have acknowledged their brilliance. Let me know if you have any good ones that I can add to the list.
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1. |
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I want to dress up like a pirate, hijack a galleon, and board cruise ships without permission. I won't steal anything -- just make the passengers drink rum and wake up wondering if the night before really happened...
319 people
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2. |
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receive a letter from Hogwarts apologizing for the late owl but informing me that i am actually a wizard.
829 people
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3. |
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pull a prank involving 100 lawn gnomes
81 people
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4. |
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skip to class in the morning while the world explodes around me in a plethora of beautiful sonic explosions caused by the collision of multiple strings of space-time after a comet strikes the pope
5 people
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5. |
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walk 500 miles, and walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked 1000 miles.
26 people
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6. |
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take a brisk walk into a raging firestorm, and come out the other side purified
3 people
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7. |
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I want to be someone or see someone taking a break from eating rolls to roll a joint while they roll while drinking a rolling rock while listening to rock and roll in a rolls thats rolling through some rolling hills
3 people
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8. |
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marry the guy that invented ROLL-UPS so he can make me roll-ups n our house will be made out of ROLL-UPs
1 person
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9. |
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jingle my toes as I slowly jog down the boardwalk, bowling over the penniless beggar monkeys whose wretched existence reminds me of my own tortured past as a sidewalk musician in Kalamazoo, where I played trumpet and harmonica simultaneously
1 person
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10. |
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become so jaded and bitter that I drop out of society to live in the wilderness in a timber hut while tending to abstract mathematical theorems, the "MANIFESTO" and have conversations with the ghosts of dead 80's hair metal acts.
34 people
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11. |
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Quit thinking I think too much and embrace my thought process
33 people
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12. |
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quit having abstract thoughts
1 person
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13. |
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quickly split an infinitive
2 people
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14. |
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beat someone to death with a can of peas
5 people
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15. |
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beat to death with one of their own limbs the first person who suggests it should really be called the 'Báthory Erzsébet Spa & Beauty Retreat'
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16. |
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beat a mouse to death with licorice
1 person
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17. |
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live vicariously through Joel
1 person
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18. |
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run through the halls of my high school, while Joel screams at the top of his lungs
1 person
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19. |
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have Joel's demon love child
1 person
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20. |
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fight for civil lefts
6 people
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21. |
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get drunk in an old irish pub and a scotish pub to see which gets me more drunk
4 people
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22. |
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cause the apocalypse by accident; preferably one involving some sort of unique confectionary concoction and a menagerie of animals
10 people
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23. |
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cause a zombie apocalypse
5 people
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24. |
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find someone foreign to eat with food
2 people
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25. |
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Appear in an Editorial cartoon using the President as a wooden dummy puppet while the President uses a judge as a puppet himself
1 person
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26. |
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write a song about keyboards, clowns, and murderous presidents with telepathic sock puppets
2 people
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27. |
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spontaneously combust
38 people
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28. |
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be less spontaneous
8 people
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29. |
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concoct witty comments on Joel's away messages
10 people
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30. |
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concoct a plan of world domination
1 person
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31. |
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Learn to tie a maraschino cherry stem with my tongue
8 people
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32. |
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Be a Jedi Master
12 people
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33. |
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Have an underground lair
428 people
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34. |
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go to Las Vegas and become a minister of a wedding chapel dressed up like a flying Elvis and marry drunk people with a pink flamingo on a leash by my side
4 people
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35. |
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be promoted to my level of incompetence where I will choke the remaining morale out of my workplace and brown nose my gold plated overlord bosses at every chance I can get all while making my minions toil away for a pittance in their cubicle salt mines.
7 people
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36. |
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have my own minions, underlings, lackies, toadies, yes-men, or zombies
5 people
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37. |
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ride an ostrich
115 people
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38. |
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visit every state except Iowa
4 people
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39. |
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pull a prank involving a kiddie pool full of pudding
1 person
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40. |
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purchase guam
3 people
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41. |
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Go on a monopoly board pub crawl
3 people
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42. |
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be under the sea in an octopus' garden
4 people
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43. |
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skydive in my underwear
14 people
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44. |
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Shrink Texas.
6 people
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45. |
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annoy an albatross
3 people
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46. |
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be a pink plastic flamingo for a day
1 person
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47. |
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barbecue a dinosaur
3 people
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48. |
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resurrect dinosaurs into the modern era so I can satisfy my curiosity about who would win between dinosaurs and tanks in a battle on the field of honor.
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49. |
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fax cheese
12 people
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50. |
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train a monkey to run around in circles in exchange for cheese, and use it to power a cheese-making machine
2 people
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